Only this Once Version 1
by TheMadButterfly
Summary: Jou loves Seto but Seto is with Ryuuji. So, Seto gives Jou only one night ...but one night can turn into so much more ...


I feel like writing a short one shot sad depressing seto/jou fic! please review..it might suck but oh well..i feel like writing something short and sad...   
  
Only this Once ...one-shot ..this is the first version. I might make a second happier version if people want me too...   
  
*jou's pov.*   
  
"So, thats it. Seto, I love you and I will always care for you. Ryuuji I am so sorry. Please forgive me ... *sniff, sniff* I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry ..." thats it I thought. I leaned over and pressed stop on the record button. I take the recorded tape out and place it next to the letter on the table. Ra, I am a weak. I then sit on the floor and look outside the window at the Kaiba Corp. Building. *Love you Seto* I thought. I place my death on my thigh and stare down at it. It's a gun ... thats going to help kill me. After what I've done, I deserve it. I take the gun in my hand and place it next to my head. Closing my eyes, I think back to last week ....   
  
*************************   
  
"uhh..AHHH" I cried out as Seto thrusted into me. I clung to him, oh ra! this feels so good. I wish I could have this forever. But, only this once. "Only this once" he had said. Only this once. I stare into his eyes as he grunts and moans thursting harder into me. This is the first and last time I will ever have the chance to make love with him. He leans over and kisses as he comes. I come soon after. I smile at him and he smiles back. He kisses my neck as he pulls out. I wrap my arms around him.   
  
"I love you ..." I whisper   
  
"Jou" he says sadden. I hug him tigther "I know" I whisper "you love ryuuji". I move to the side and stare out the window. "thank you" I say "for giving me this one time with you.". Seto leans over to kiss me, just as his lips brush mine I hear a door open and then a "oh my god" . I stare at a hurt and shocked ryuuji.   
  
"seto" he whispers tears falling down his face.   
  
"Ryuuji" Seto jumps out of bed naked which only makes Ryuuji cry more. Seto rushes over to Ryuuji and takes him into his arms. "please let me explain" Seto says trying to hush Ryuuji's sobbing.   
  
"explain what!!! that you've been fucking Jou!!!" Ryuuji cries into Setos bare chest. He sobbs and I move quickly to pull some clothing on. This is going to be bad.   
  
"are you happy" Ryuuji whispers. He raises his head and stares at me "are you happy now jou!!! ARE YOU!! YOU ALWAYS WANTED SETO!!! ARE YOU HAPPY! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!! I HOPE YOU DIE!! BOTH OF YOU!!! IT's over!!!" Ryuuji screams then runs out. I look down wanting to die. I hurt seto ... he only let this happen to smooth my pain and now I only caused him pain.   
  
"Jou ... please leave" Seto whispers.   
  
"I'm sorry ... I was selfish" I whisper, I grab my things and leave.   
  
A couple days later, I hear from Yugi that Ryuuji still won't talk to Seto and that Seto is working himself to death and not eating to help his pain. So, I had to explain to Ryuuji. So, here I am standing at his front pourch. I ring the doorbell and a butler answers. Once he saw me he went to close the door but I grabbed it before he could close it.   
  
"Master Ryuuji wishes to not see you" he hisses   
  
"Please! I need to see him! I only want to apologize!" I said. I swing the door open and rush inside. I hear a "what the hell " and I know that is Ryuujis voice. I hear it from the dinning room and I run in to see Ryuuji standing in the middle of the room. Once he see's me he lowers his eyes.   
  
"what do you want" he hisses   
  
"to apologize and explain" I say "please. Ryuuji"   
  
"NO!" he says "leave now!"   
  
"but ryuuji please"   
  
"I said leave now. you already ruined enough of my life"   
  
"what do I have to do to make you listen to me!!!" I cry   
  
"I want you to die and go to hell!" he shouts at me.   
  
to die and go to hell ....   
  
to die and go to hell....   
  
to die and go to hell ....   
  
only this once ....   
  
only this once .....   
  
only this once .....   
  
And if things could be more easier on me. I have to run into a sad and angry seto. I needed to get something from Yugi's place but when I got there ... Seto was there. He looked so sad and depressed. I hated myself. He see's me and then looks at me angry.   
  
"Seto" I say but he cuts me off with a "don't fucking talk to me."   
  
"I'm sorry" I say anyway. He looks at me pissed. "are you happy!!! you ruined MY RELATIONSHIP WITH RYUUJI!!! NO ONE WILL FIND OUT YOU SAID. ONLY THIS ONCE ...NO ONE WILL KNOW. NOW, RYUUJI IS GONE...I HATE YOU! YOU SON OF A BITCH. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! GO TO HELL!!!" he shouts. I try not to cry but I did anyway. I turned and ran out leaving a surprised Yugi as he walks into the room where I just left. I felt a little angry ...How dare Seto say this was all my fault! that I ruined their relationship! He agreed to sleep with me just once.   
  
but you made him. you begged and begged   
  
he could have said no   
  
but you kept begging   
  
he still could have said no   
  
he did it as a favor..he didn't want too..   
  
he still could have said no   
  
but you wanted it. He did it cause he felt sorry for you..   
  
i know...   
  
some of it may be his fault ...but most of it it because of it. if it wasn't for you then he wouldn't have ever slept with anyone else. you ruined his life.   
  
i know ...i know! *sniff,sniff*   
  
its all your fault ...all your fault   
  
i know!! i knoww! shut up   
  
all your fault...all your fault   
  
shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!! Ahh..uhhhh *cries*   
  
why are you crying! you shouldn't cry you got what you want   
  
No! I didn't want to hurt anyone   
  
but you did   
  
I know ..oh ra! i know!!   
  
if you know then what are you going to do about it   
  
i don't know what to do...what should i do?   
  
disappear ... just disappear   
  
I decided what to do, I took out a piece of paper and wrote my last words on it. I told my goodbyes and sorrows. I then took a blank tape and set up the camra so I could record my last words. I press record then I walked to the couch and sat down. I stare into it and start to talk ...   
  
"People usually say on these kinds of tape 'If your watching this then I have gone and died' well, I won't say that. I just want to say how sorry I am for causing so many people so much pain. I hurt the one I loved with all my heart. I didn't mean to and I am sorry. I hope someday you can forgive me. Seto I love you and I know you don't love me back but I want to thank you for giving me that one night. It brought you pain and I am so sorry! Ryuuji please don't blame seto! it's my fault! I love Seto so much" I paused and tried not to cry but I cannot help it, tears fall down my cheeks. I continue   
  
"I love him and if you cannot forgive him then you don't deserve him. But without you Seto is sad and I don't want him to be every sad. But I made him sad...and I am sorry. So sorry! everything is my fault. Please don't blame him. Forgive him and give him a second chance. I know you will make him happy. Please love and protect him always.So, thats it. Seto, I love you and I will always care for you. Ryuuji I am so sorry. Please forgive me ... *sniff, sniff* I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry ..." I look away and then look at the camra "Serenity I am sorry ...I love you all guys don't forget that. Please don't be sad and cry for me ... I love you all ..." I smile into the camra even though I am crying. I get up and walk over and press stop on the camra.   
  
***************   
  
So, here I am. I open my eyes and stare one more time at Kaiba Corp. then I pull the triggar   
  
I love you seto .... now and forever ...   
  
A/N*cries* I am evil   
  
The funeral was small, the family only wanted close friends and family to be there. Serenity was sitting in the front row crying and Tristan was trying to comfort her as much as he could. Yami and Yugi were sitting behind them with Anzu, Bakura, Ryou, and Ryuuji. Ryuuji felt bad, the last words to Jou was to die and go to hell. And that is what Jou did. A couple rows down was Seto leaning against the wall. His eyes as cold as ever.   
  
Mrs. Wheeler walks up to the front and looks onto everyone before she starts to talk. "It pains me to be here. No parent should have to barry their children. I never though this would ever happen. But instead of talking about how he died. I want to talk about how he lived. Jou was a great boy who had many horrible things happen to him he didn't deserve. But through it all he always kept up a smile and pulled through. I haven't been the best mother and he forgave me for that. I am sorry I never got to spend much time as I wanted to with him." tears began to fall down mrs. wheelers cheeks. She tried to controll herself but she couldn't . "I'm sorry" she says and whipes them away. "I hope you all remember Jou in your heart"   
  
After Mrs. Wheeler finished tristan, Yugi, and Anzu made some speeches about Jou. When they finished everyone thought it was over untill a man in a suit came to the front.   
  
"Before you leave, there is something I want to show you. The late Jou Wheeler has left a video for you all to see" he nodds to someone who pushes in a tv on a cart. There are a few gasps and sobbs as some hear this. The man places the tv infront of everyone and pops the tape into the vcr. He presses play   
  
A smiling Jou comes onto the tv which makes Serenity sobb more. Jou still smiling starts to talk   
  
"People usually say on these kinds of tape 'If your watching this then I have gone and died' well, I won't say that. I just want to say how sorry I am for causing so many people so much pain. I hurt the one I loved with all my heart. I didn't mean to and I am sorry. I hope someday you can forgive me. Seto I love you and I know you don't love me back but I want to thank you for giving me that one night. It brought you pain and I am so sorry! Ryuuji please don't blame seto! it's my fault! I love Seto so much" Jou pauses and starts to cry ..after he controlls himself enough to talk with tears still running down his smiling face he continues ...   
  
"I love him and if you cannot forgive him then you don't deserve him. But without you Seto is sad and I don't want him to be every sad. But I made him sad...and I am sorry. So sorry! everything is my fault. Please don't blame him. Forgive him and give him a second chance. I know you will make him happy. Please love and protect him always.So, thats it. Seto, I love you and I will always care for you. Ryuuji I am so sorry. Please forgive me ... *sniff, sniff* I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry ..." I look away and then look at the camra "Serenity I am sorry ...I love you all guys don't forget that. Please don't be sad and cry for me ... I love you all ..." Jou smiles and sits up ...the tape ends..   
  
there is more sobbing.   
  
"Seto" Ryuuji says at the figure still leaning agains the wall. "Yes" says the calm figure. "Is what he said was true. You only .." Ryuuji begins   
  
"He loves me ... I felt sorry for him. Because I loved you not him. So, I told him I would give him one night for just him."   
  
"I feel like a ass. I said things to him... I told him to die and go to hell" Ryuuji starts to cry. Seto walks over to him and hugs him.   
  
'it's alright ...everything is going to be alright" he whispers.   
  
the end ...   
  
sad? please review. later on i might make another version of this story but happier...where jou doesn't die. review if you want me too. 


End file.
